Family Media Plan
Other notes:
Ask what is your plan once off tech?
What are rules when they have a sleepover at someone elses house?
Safe and Unsafe online – explain why and why you cannot. Avoid no. This is not an option because …….
Reference:
Better Screen Time course:
What first(before screens)?
Homework, Chores, Outside time, etc.
Where are screens kept?
Main areas. Not in bedrooms (especially at night, for adults too).
When are we using screens?
Not during meals, in bathrooms, bedrooms, during family time
(if needing to, share explanation and time limit).
Shut off time during week and weekends (routine).
What are we accessing?
Age appropriate games, etc.
Autoplay off, Filters on?
Use Qustodio/Get independent routers like Gryphon or TP Link Deco M5 (Unplugged Psychologist).
Parental control concerns because kids take control of VPN and hide wifi. Far less dopamine without wifi.
Consequences
of not following guidelines discussed beforehand with child/youth
Note: Better Screen time was one of the Best Digital Health resources I found, please consider checking them out.
https://www.betterscreentime.com
Addressing Concerning Digital Tech Use
Resource: Intenta Digital
We want to build up the recovery aspect for prevention.
Tips for
Healthy Tech use
Centre for Mental Health and Addictions
Authoritative Digital Mentors
It’s my job to set limits for my child/youth while they use digital technology and support them when they run into problems.
There are Three jobs:
Create a secure base (filters for porn and ad blockers)
Provide Digital on ramps, see how they manage the game or platform.
Launch and Check in Regularly. They may not be ready and can try again another time.
When you take away tech they won’t talk to you about what happens on tech.
You can rethink apps and games if you see behaviours.
You can control the WiFi but don’t take away devices(unless extreme cases like Electronic Screen Syndrome)! Do keep them in main areas of the home at all times.
Resource: Monitor, Mentor and be Mindful… Katey McPherson
Contact, Content
and Conduct
(Co-access)
Encourage
interactive tech use
watching movies together
gaming together
make a video, stop motion
piano app
let them show you TikTok etc.
(use the apps and get to know them yourself!)
The internet is like a huge city,
we wouldn’t send them out exploring without a map and guidance.
They will meet and talk to strangers online,
so we want to talk to them about how to navigate that
and the boundaries around that.
Promote
Creativity
Competency
Connection
Compassion
Meaningful
Teach them how to cope with social cruelty and how to be a good digital citizen.
Talk to them about getting news from social media.
Talk and teach about using tech for creativity not just for consuming.
Monitor
Have ongoing conversations
Watch Tech talk Tues by Dr. Delaney Rushton or Raising Digital Citizens cards
Qustudio, SafeSearch (Google)
Boomerang and the Circle are recommended monitors.
OpenDNS, on Home Router. TP Link Deco M5 and Gryphon.
Call Apple support and have phone only act as phone on certain days.
Could get a: Pinwheel phone
Manage
Help them manage their time. Limits are needed but not in an authoritarian way. Be authoritative and an autonomy supportive parent.
Do not apologize for setting a limit. Do not log under you, as will feed them adult content. Don’t use full name. Platforms for adults don’t have parental controls. Kids messaging apps are not safe.
Model
The Median is the Message. Are you using technology the way you want them to use it? Play with them! Let them show you things. ☺
The Anxious Generation
Limit smartphones: Don't give children smartphones before high school.
Limit social media: Don't give children access to social media before age 16.
Limit screen time at home: Limit screen time before bed and at mealtimes.
Model good habits: Parents should model the screen time habits they want their children to have.
by Jonathan Haidt
Encourage unsupervised play: Allow children to play without surveillance.
Encourage responsibility: Give children more responsibility in the real world.
Encourage independence at home: Ask children to do things around the house without assistance.
Encourage independence outside the home: Ask children to do things outside the home without supervision.
Other suggestions
Partner with other families to delay giving children smartphones. Check out Unplugged Canada.
Partner with other parents to ask schools to go phone-free.
Encourage children to play outside with neighborhood friends.
Common Parenting
Mistakes
Dictating Terms
Over-reliance on Parental Controls
Being Reactive rather than Responsive
Think child can manage own screen time
Don’t let them get their own wifi connection (your home, your guidelines)
Be mindful of online purchases. Get them doing contributions or earning own money.
Forget to take credit cards off all online accounts
Talking To Younger Children/Youth
Places to limit tech and why (bedrooms, bathrooms, eating and car(unless a long trip).
Health concerns (vision 20-20-20 rule), hearing, wrists, neck and back, movement.
Passwords/Private info
Online friends/strangers
Not taking free stuff online
Inappropriate content
Keyboard Courage/ Cyberbullying
YouTube Kids and Youtube in main areas.
Centre for Humane
Technology Suggestions:
Turn off notifications
Put phone in Grey Scale
Remove apps
Download helpful tools (Freedom, Insight Timer)
Check in and unfollow
Set time in morning and evening without tech
Disconnect 1 day per week or even part of day
Be aware of attention economy
Talk about persuasive design
Behavioural Challenges that Could Occur and Ideas on What to Do:
Resource: Brad Marshall,
The Unplugged Psychologist
Concerns include aggression, property damage, missing school, threaten suicide.
No activity, not sleeping properly or no school = no wifi, validate emotions and explain and walk away (do not further engage)
Negotiate a schedule (start low) Weekdays, Weekends and Holidays
Insist/Strongly Encourage family meals (the opposite of addiction is connection Johan Hari
If threaten suicide, call crisis line or take to hospital. Set up counselling.
If aggression, break into 30 minute consequences( don’t take away more than 24 hours). Every day is a clean start.
Contracts do not work! Whiteboard or big piece of paper and take pic. Review 4-6 weeks (do not change plan without them).
Property damage, do chores to pay for it.
